1.Friendship is like pissing your pants. Inside: Everyone can see it but only you can feel it's true warmth. Thank you... For being the piss in my pants.
2.You've reached that age where your brain went from "You probably shouldn't say that "… Inside to "What the hell, let's see what happens".
3.The officer said," You drinking?" I said, "You Buying?" We just laughed and laughed. Inside: Let's get together soon. Bring bail money.
4.Didn't you think … Inside: growing old would take longer.
5.God made us friends… Inside: because he knew our parents couldn't handle us as sisters.
6.Exercise makes you look better naked. Inside: So does alcohol. Your choice.
7."I Smell Old People… / Oh Wait, That's You! Happy Birthday" front and inside sentiment.
8."Your Parents Had Sex." sentiment, and inside "Just A Little Something To Think About On Your Birthday." sentiment.
9."Just Remember, If We Get Caught..." and inside "You're Deaf And I Don't Speak English."
10."I Was Going To Send You A Funny Card…" sentiment on the outside, and "But At Your Age I'm Genuinely Concerned That You Might Piss Yourself."
11. "What Page Of The Bible Explains How To Turn Water Into Wine…" sentiment on the outside, and "Asking For A Friend." sentiment on the inside.
12. "Life Is Short. Take The Trip. Buy The Shoes. Eat The Cake..." sentiment on the outside with "And Sleep With The Drummer." sentiment on the inside.
13."When Someone Says You Look Familiar..." sentiment on the outside and "Just Say, I Do Porn." sentiment on the inside.
14. "At Our Age, An 'All Nighter' means…" sentiment on the outside and "We Didn't Have To Get Up To Pee." sentiment on the inside
15. "I Can't Believe How Young You Look..." sentiment on the outside and "In All Your Old Photos. Happy Birthday!" sentiment on the inside
